(Excerpt from the book "the extraordinary life of an ordinary woman"
June 1
I went for a walk today and wound up in the downtown area of our city. It was a beautiful sunny day, so I decided to sit on one of the benches and enjoy the weather. Invariably I started people watching, which is one of my favorite pastimes.
When I people watch, it's not to criticize or gossip. I look more to what kind of "character" that person is, from a writer's perspective. I try to guess their age, profession, and demeanor. I try to imagine what their lives are like, neighborhoods, families, likes and dislikes.
I think this hobby of mine is the reason I did alright as a police officer. I did not look at people to "profile them", I observed more to get a "feel" for what that person was about; to try to better understand where they were coming from and to be able to be as fair as I could to them, whether victim or perpetrator.
As I was sitting there it brought back memories of when my oldest son, Derek, (before we had James join our family) taught me a valuable lesson about people.
He was only two years old and we had a doctor's appointment at the local city hospital. Derek was born with severe asthma. He had been in and out of emergency rooms and hospitals a lot in his young life. I had finally been able to get an appointment for him with a specialist who was willing to take on a patient with minimal health insurance.
It had been a long day. I was five months pregnant with my second child, who loved sitting on my bladder. I was in the bathroom every two seconds. I had worked all day at the biotech factory where I was employed on their assembly line. In order to get from work to my mom's to pick him up and then to the hospital, it involved three bus transfers and almost a two hour ordeal.
By the time I got to the waiting area I was tired, cranky, wishing my bladder would fall off and without the energy to chase a hyperactive two year old. Derek was not your typical two-year old either. He had the full vocabulary of a grown man and had the most inquisitive mind, way beyond his years.
I finally convinced Derek to sit next to me and started to read him a story. Derek suddenly looked up and waved "hi" to an elderly gentleman sitting across from us reading a paper. He just ignored Derek. Mama lion instincts kicked in and I was a little upset at the man's rudeness. He looked to be in his seventies and looked like life had not been too kind to him. His breathing was labored from years of what I thought was heavy smoking. All in all he just looked like a miserable, lonely old man.
I told Derek to leave the man alone but I guess Derek took it as a challenge. He persisted in smiling his toothy grin and waving non-stop to the poor man. Try as I might Derek would not stop.
I got up to go to the bathroom again when Derek escaped my grasp and ran over to sit next to the man. He scooted over and gently tapped the gentleman on his arm. The man finally looked up from his paper and glared at Derek. Derek met his glare with a big smile and another "hi"!
I quickly walked over, as quickly as a waddling pregnant woman could, to grab Derek. Like a little jumping bean Derek jumped to his feet on the chair and threw himself into the man's lap and gave him a hug! I was mortified! I started to apologize to the old man when a small smile came across his sun-dried face.
"My but you are persistent, young man!" the gentleman said. Derek's face lit up and hugged even tighter. "I like you", Derek said.
I finished my apologies and was going to take Derek off his lap when the gentleman assured me it was okay for him to remain in his new seat. I sat down next to them and was enthralled watching their interaction.
Derek asked this man about his family, his life, what he did for work, why was he sick and so on and so on. Every time I tried to reprimand Derek for being too intrusive, the man just shook his head and said it was alright and answered Derek's questions.
This man had been unable to serve in the military due to his poor hearing. He worked in the shipyards in Quincy, in an effort to do this patriotic duty. He was there for years before we know of the harmful effects of asbestos and as a result he now had a horrible pulmonary disease that was slowly killing him.
His only child, a son, had been killed during the Vietnam War while evacuating injured soldiers out of the hot zone. His beloved wife of 40 plus years had died recently and now he was all alone. He had no surviving parents, siblings or extended family. He had never had any grandchildren or nieces or nephews. This man was truly all alone.
The man, whose name was Sam, looked over to me and said" He's quiet the little interrogator isn't he? I can't believe he got me telling him my whole life story!" Sam looked down to Derek and asked him,"How old did you say you were again, young man" With his most dazzling smile he answered with pride," I am two years and 3 months old!"
Sam chuckled and ruffled the top of his head. Derek giggled and hugged him again.
I turned around as I hear the nurse call out Derek's name. "We have to go, Derek, say good-bye to Sam now!" Derek looked up to Sam with his big, brown eyes, a little sad and asked Sam if he would ever see him again. Sam looked down at Derek with misty eyes and said" probably not friend, but I have something for you to remember me by." Sam reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a 50 cent coin. "This is my luck coin and even though some people might not think so, it has been good to me. I want you to have it now".
I started to protest but quickly stopped when Sam looked at me with pleading eyes. I nodded yes and Derek took the coin in his tiny hand and looked it over with amazement.
"Wow, Mr. Sam this is so cool! But I don't want to take your lucky coin. Aren't you going to need it to help you get well?"
Sam laughed in between coughing and said" No, Mr. Derek, I think that coin has done all I need it to do for me! It's all yours now!"
Derek hugged him again real tight and promised to take real good care of the coin. The nurse called our name out again and slowly Derek got off Sam's lap and sadly waved good-bye. I leaned over to Sam and thanked him for his kindness and he replied softly, "No, thank you!" and smiled.
When we were done with Derek's appointment and went to leave Derek ran into the waiting room, but hung his head with sadness when he saw that Sam was gone.
On the bus ride home Derek told me that he was going to really miss his friend Sam. I sat Derek on my lap to soothe him and he slowly fell asleep.
I was deep in thought about Sam. How could someone like him be all alone? He wasn't a bad person; he loved his family and his country. Yet destiny had stricken him alone and very ill. How sad that no one would ever remember Sam or the things he had done in life.
But I was wrong.
Derek is now in his late twenties, yet he never forgot his friend Sam. When my son became a young teenager he assigned me to be the keeper of Sam's coin. I could have stuffed it in a drawer or a safe but instead I carried Sam's coin inside my police badge holder.
Every time I had to pull something out of there I would feel Sam's coin and it would remind me to not judge people by their appearance or demeanor. It helped me to be a better cop and a more caring person.
Sam's memory also fostered a desire in my son to be friendly to everyone and to especially reach out to those that are sometimes overlooked.
As I looked around the city square as all the people rushed by, it dawned on me that in a way Sam's memory did go on.
His life and his influence had continued to be a good example to others. I smiled to myself happy to know that Sam and Derek's friendship had not been only for a brief second in time in a noisy waiting room, but had lasted and would last a lifetime.
Nice job Sam!
