Introducing...the Dad!,
Ladies and gentlemen I introduce you to the main “characters” in this saga I call my life! I will start with my hubby Jose Sr., who we call "Mel". He got this nickname from a buddy of his from the days when he worked under cover, in the drug unit of the Massachusetts State Police.
Why Mel, we have no clue, But it stuck at work, mainly because it protected him from someone accidentally calling him by his real name during an operation! We used it because his family has like a million "Joses"! This way when we call him, we get him!
Mel, is my second husband and I truly believe I got it right! After almost 15 years we are still going strong and have beat the odds of failed second marriages!
Mel was an awesome athlete in high school who played varsity basketball and baseball, in a big urban school. You know he had to be good, this school plays favorites and politics in its athletics, especially in the early 80's. The rule was if your parents were someone's buddy you got to play. Mel's dad was a factory worker and his mom a homemaker, not too much clout there! It was so bad his basketball coach tried to bench him his senior year so he could play his buddy's kid! The rest of the players put an end to that real quick, they told the coach that if my hubby didn't play they would all quit! They did the same thing to him in baseball, he got benched so the coach's buddy's kid could play! Karma got the coach on that one though. A routine pop up to deep field which Mel routinely could catch in his sleep, this kid dropped and cost them the championship bid that year! Karma is a bear I say! Mel made it on pure talent and determination.
Mel could have moved on to a profession in sports but life and an unplanned baby put an end to that prospect. He put his dream of a major league baseball career away forever.
More determined now, but focusing it all on providing a better way of life for his daughter, than the one his parents gave him, he attended college full time. He also worked full-time nights and weekends to support his family.
My husband had learned from a young age to be very self-reliant. His dad was a hard working man who worked two full-time jobs. You would think that would have meant Mel and his brothers were well provided for, but it didn't. What his dad did with his earnings Mel doesn't know, but it definitely did not come into their home. They lived in various low income housing projects and his mom struggled to make ends meet with public assistance and selling various home made treats. He had the most amazing mom, caring and loving. His dad on the other hand was and still is a distant, cool and selfish person.
Mel's freshman year of college he decided to walk on and try out for the basketball team. Now I know that Salem state college isn't exactly in the PAC-10, but at the time my hubby was five foot, nothing and a hundred and ten pounds soaking wet! Thank goodness he has grown a lot since those days! I would have paid to be a fly on the wall that day in the gym! Can you imagine the looks he must have gotten from the other players and the coaches! Never under estimate this man, he made the team! Unfortunately my husband's self reliance and pride can be a challenge at times. He needed the small fortune of one hundred and forty seven dollars to pay for medical insurance policy required by the school. When you're raising a baby and paying your own way through college, money is tight to say the least. He didn't have the money and rather than ask his father for a loan, he quietly put away another one of his dreams forever.
What amazes me about him is how he managed to go to college without taking out any loans while supporting his first wife and daughter. I guess this is why I have a hard time when young, single teens, with no kids give me the excuse that they can’t go to school “Cause, I “ain’t” got the money!” Please! I have learned that if you want something bad enough, you find a way.
The other thing I admired about Mel is that he made the Dean's list while attending college. No biggie you say? This man was considered borderline illiterate. He wasn’t stupid, what he was, was raised by a father who moved the family around so much he attended 11 schools in 13 years! It’s really hard to really get a quality education that way. His first year in college he spent it catching up on all the stuff he missed in Junior high and High school.
Mel as you might have guessed is a Massachusetts State trooper. He has been on the “job” twenty plus years and is eligible for retirement any time now. He has mostly done undercover work, work that he is very good at, but after a while he felt burnt out. Coming from someone who has done undercover work, it’s the hardest, most, dangerous, under -appreciated assignment a cop can do. Its’ no wonder people b
urn out after just a few years, never mind after as long as he did it. He decided to transfer back to uniform and spent some time doing road tests before going to the Pike (for those non-Bostonians, its specialty highway patrol). My husband also works in the financial service field off and on part time. Go wolf pack!
He has also been helping the boys with their music promotion and has talked about doing that full time or just running his own business, what he really hasn't decided yet. Due to the influence of his father growing up, my husband has struggled with being openly affectionate with the boys. He also has struggled with anger issues that have also interfered with getting closer to the boys. Luckily he has continued to work on it every day and as a result of it he has come a long way to overcome it. He has a great relationship with our kids and the lines of communication are always open. He also continues to work on getting closer to my boys. Mel really loves my boys as his own, but the challenge of knowing how to express it at times has come across as he not caring. Now that my son Eric and Sarah are expecting a son, it really surprised me to see how excited he really is! He won't admit it in public, but he is already thinking of all the ways he can spoil his grandchild! The funny thing is he wants to do it so when the kids say what a grump he is, the grandchildren will think their parents are crazy! If only they knew!
