The extraordinary life of an ordinary woman

Alexi’s green pastures.

 

 

"For what the mind can perceive, you can achieve."

 

W. Clement Stone

 

 

 

 

May 1

 

The days just keep getting warmer and longer! This time of year always brings back memories of when the kids were younger!

Things were really busy with the kids' sports and the school year winding down to a close. I remember once I picked up the kids after school one day.

I had six of them with me. I dropped off two of them at their practices and was driving home with the remaining four when Jose started talking about how some girl was driving our daughter Cristina crazy. I asked him what was this girl doing that was so bad and Jose told us that no matter what his sister did or wore, this girl would copy her.

"What, like mimicking her?" I asked not quite getting it.

"Yeah like that! If Cristina wears her hair up, this girl copies her and wears it the same way the next day. You know how Cristina joined flag football?" He asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"Well, she signed up too! And she doesn't even like football! All she does is flirt with the boys and act stupid to get attention!" He said.

"You know Jose, they say that imitation is the best form of flattery" I replied trying to sound cheerful.

 

The truth was I wasn't too cheerful on that subject. I had been going through the same thing lately! I could understand this going on at the junior high level but the woman acting this way was in her late thirties!

 

At first I hadn't even noticed. Later on when it was impossible not to notice because it was so obvious, I ignored it.

 

I guess this aggravated this woman even more because she went totally overboard! I wear my nails a certain way which isn't common, she went and got the same style.

She cut and styled her hair the same as mine, would buy the exact same suits and dresses I would buy.

 

I am not a fashion mogul, I never wear what's "in"! I wear what I like, no matter how different. This was why it became so obvious!

 

It was so bad she would show up to the functions and events I ran for the City of Lowell! It got to the point that she even bought a ring with my birthstone on it and would wear it constantly! I felt like I was in that crazy movie, "Single white female"!

 

The logic behind this behavior totally escaped me and trust me, when I tell you, I was not flattered! So I totally knew how my daughter felt!

"That's just annoying!" Jose snorted, "Cristina is not happy at all!"

"Maybe this girl just thinks the grass is greener on the other side. She might be a little insecure around Cristina so she acts that way to compensate for it!" I answered. Jose gave me the "yeah, how dumb, eyebrow raise".

"I didn't say it made sense! Look, I have gone through something similar and while I agreed that it was annoying, it's best just to ignore it, otherwise they just keep doing it to annoy you!" I told him, half-heartedly, because I, a full grown woman, was having a hard time following my own advice!

 

"That's silly!" Alexi's tiny voice piped in from the back seat. He was so quiet I had forgotten he was there! (This happens a lot in our family!)

"What is, honey?" I asked.

"Well of course the grass is greener on the other side. Cause if you are so busy looking and being nosy about someone else's grass, your grass is going to die cause you aren't taking care of it! If you spent your time taking care of your own grass then it would be nice and green, greener than the other guy's!" He said smiling.

 

Our jaws dropped! Will life never seize to amaze me?

Jose looked at me as I shook my head. This from the mouth of babes, a first grade babe at the time! Jose reached over and nudged me, "Did you hear that!?""Hear it? I am still in shock!" Not only did he get the whole conversation and its meaning, but he came up with a deep philosophical truth that learned scholars couldn't have explained so clearly!

 

Alexi turned his head and proceeded to look out the window again.

 

His words kept coming back to me. How true his observation was! If we, as humans, spent our time cultivating the things the Lord had blessed us with, instead of obsessing over the things we don't have, our grass would be the greenest!

 

Our talents would be better honed. Our homes would be more loving and kind, our marriages sweeter and more fulfilling. We would appreciate our children more, our jobs would be more satisfying and we in general would be happier!

 

Notice I didn't say we would be thinner, richer, prettier, taller, shorter, more talented or famous! I said happier! There are countless people who have all the things I have just mentioned yet they are not happy!

We need to truly appreciate our own grass.

 

Funny thing is if we were on the other side, all of a sudden our old grass would suddenly look so much better!

 

I have known some people who after they get divorced and when their ex-spouse starts to date again, they feel that she/he starts looking so good all of a sudden!

 

Hold on, wasn't this the same person who you divorced because... (Fill in the blanks!)

 

Now because someone else finds them appealing, all the good memories come rushing back? Where were those memories when you were married to them?

 

Alexi had pointed out the obvious, at least obvious to a six-year old, not so obvious to adults.

 

It would never seize to amaze me how we humans continue to muck up and make things difficult that should be easy.

 

I had learned such an incredible life lesson in the car that day. I realized that as long as I focused on my grass it would always be green and appealing to me.

 

I also got a deeper understanding of where the woman copying me, and the girl annoying my daughter were coming from.

 

I realized that it wasn't our challenge, it was theirs. All I could do was pray for them to truly find themselves.

I hoped that they would learn to love themselves and to not feel a need to covet other people's lives.

 

I snuck a peek at Alexi through the rear view mirror and marveled at how sometimes God sends important messages with really, tiny messengers! I am glad I was listening!

 

"Hey" Alexi yelled out all of a sudden," So, whose grass are we talking about, anyway?"

We all busted out laughing as he looked confused at us.

 

"Baby, no one important, but you have taught us to remember to really appreciate our grass better!" I answered.

"Ah, question", He asked.

"Yeah, babe", I answered.

"Our backyard is bald, does this mean we have been too busy looking at the neighbor's yard instead?" He asked wide eyed.

Once again we laughed out loud.

 

"You know what buddy, maybe we have. What do you say we go buy some grass seeds and change that?"

 

"Way cool!" He cheered.

 

Now, I wonder if my hubby was going to be as excited about this new project as Alexi.

 

For the love of the game.

 

 

April 29

 

We are in full swing of softball/baseball season! This time of year reminds me of when the kids were younger and all of them where living at home!

As a result of this momentous time of year I had no life!

 

I lived at the fields! We had six kids playing at the same time; and as if that wasn't enough, three of them were playing on two teams; their school team and the city league team, simultaneously!

Never to be outdone Jose was playing on four teams!

Why?

 

Because he loved having my washing machine running twenty four, seven!

Every time I turned around I was washing a uniform and driving someone, somewhere with a bag full of balls and bats! the crazy thing about all this?

No one was forcing them to do this!

 

They really loved the sport of baseball and softball! When they weren't playing or practicing, they were out in the back yard throwing the ball around.

Some Sundays after church what did they want to do?

Go to the park as a family and play ball!

I have to admit as crazy as it used get, I love baseball/softball too, so I didn't mind.

 

I never had the chance to play as a child. I didn't start to play softball until I got married to Mel. Most Sundays I am the designated "shagger". I run around in the outfield catching all the balls that land out there (Which by the way, I am not one to brag about my family, yeah right, but it was a lot of them!)

 

I love to do this because I love to run and it makes me feel like I am part of the team, ah, family. When I first met Mel I didn't realize that he was such a big baseball fan. My ex-husband wasn't too crazy about the sport, which was a bummer for me because I loved baseball! Did I mention that I love baseball?

 

One day while Mel and I were dating I got a hold of some red Sox tickets and asked Mel if he wanted to go to the game with me. He looked at me kind of funny.

"You want to go to a baseball game on a date?" He asked. My heart sunk at the thought that maybe he didn't like my beloved sport either. As much as I loved him, if he didn't like baseball, it was over!

 

"Yes! Why not? I love baseball!"

"You, you love baseball?" He asked incredulous.

"Yes I do! What, a woman can't like baseball? Not only do I like baseball, I love baseball. I follow the stats and I know the players! What don't you like baseball?" I answered indignant, "You want to go or not? I don't have all day you know!"

"No, no, I like baseball, I'll go. You just caught me off guard. I have never had a woman ask me to a baseball game before, especially not on a date!"

"Well get used to it, bud, I am not like other women!" I said over my shoulder as I walked away. "I'll be ready by 5:30 and I don't want to miss the warm up! So don't be late or I'll leave without you!"

I heard him mumble something about pushy broad under his breath as I got back into my car and drove off.

 

While we were at the game he kept peeking at me out of the corner of his eye. I, never really caring what anyone thought about me (Well, at least not letting people know that I cared) I acted the way I normally would have.

 

I was fan-coaching my Beloved Red Sox. I struck up a conversation with the old guy in front of me about stats and possible trades in the upcoming seasons. I ate hot dogs and cracker jacks, sung at the top of my lungs during the seventh inning stretch and got my whole section doing the wave. (Mind you, all while cold sober and totally lady like!)

I might also add that Jack, the old guy in front of me, and I successfully coached the Red Sox to a 4-1 win over the Mariners!

 

This date, while very enjoyable, was forgotten until Mel brought it up later on.

"You know, I thought you were setting me up!" He told me about that day.

 

"Why?" I asked more offended than anything. He told me how he was so used to being around phony women, that he thought I had asked the guys at work what he liked so I could try to impress him.

I busted out laughing!

"Oh, please! What are you Andy Garcia?" I asked in between chuckles.

 

"I know it's stupid now!" He answered, coloring a little. "It just floored me that you were for real! For Heavens Sake's you knew more about the team than I did!" He got quiet, as he usually does when his emotions are close to the surface.

 

"What's the matter, Hon?" I asked as I caressed his hair. He cleared his throat and told me how much he really loved baseball and how he had hoped to play either in college or at the professional level (Of course having a baby at nineteen put an end to this dream.)

 

He told me that he had not been to a game since he had given up on his dream of baseball. Now at this point I'll be honest, I love my husband, but I also knew the chances of breaking into the majors were slim to none. I also knew that at a modest height of 5'9", unless he was phenomenal, that wasn't going to happen.

 

Nowadays small, sleek and fast players are common, but in my husband's era the Mo Vaughns ruled the diamond.

 

I of course didn't say this out loud. What I did do was encourage him to find a team to play on.

He told me he was too old at the ripe age of 29! I wanted to dope slap him!

I didn't do that either! I just kept nagging him until he finally found a team and started playing. Crazy thing was he was too self conscious to let me go to the games. He kept saying I would be bored, that no one watched them, etc.

 

I let it go at first, but at the beginning of his second season playing I told him flat out I was going whether he wanted me to or not!(Pushy broad won out again!)

 

It was a beautiful, hot summer day when I finally got to see his game. I was seated all by myself in the bleachers near their dug out.

 

Being the fool that I am I started doing the wave! (Yeah I know, but it was the most glorious wave of one!) His team mates laughed, happy to finally have a cheering fan!

 

Mel was probably mortified but I didn't care because I was having a ball!

 

The game moved along pretty good and Mel was doing really well! He had hit a single, a double and had been effective at third.

 

But sometime during the fourth inning I got a glimmer of what could have been.

 

A player from the other team hit a shot that had some serious spin and power behind it.

 

It took a nasty hop right in front of Mel. I cringed at the thought of how much that was going to hurt when he caught it, that is, if he caught it.

 

Imagine my surprise when Mel plucked the ball in a blur of dust and speed. He effortlessly changed directions instantly, tagged the bag and got that runner out, spun around and hummed the ball to second for the double play!

 

My jaw dropped!

 

I had just witnessed an ESPN highlight moment, before ESPN had highlight moments!

 

Here was this man who was thirty years old, hadn't played on a team since high school and he had just made a play right out of the major leagues!

 

I was so glad I had sunglasses on so that no one could see the tears coming down my eyes.

My 5'9" hubby had the stuff for the big show! Coupled with the fact that I now knew how much he truly loved the sport, my heart broke for him!

 

The love I had for the sport was always bittersweet for me, because I never got the chance to play it. I could only ponder how much more it would have hurt had I had the talent to make it as a ball player, but not the opportunity.

 

What amazed me the most about him was that he never shoved his dreams down his kids' throats. The love they had for baseball and sports in general, for that matter, was their choice and theirs' alone.

 

He wasn't an obnoxious (Okay sometimes he can be obnoxious, but not when it comes to coaching from the side lines) parent. He respected the kids' choices to decide whether to play or not. But mostly he let the experience be theirs, not his.

 

It was to the point that when he was asked to coach one of the boys teams he asked our son if it was alright with him. He didn't want to take anything away from our son's experience.

 

The only thing he is always on the kids about is to never let go of their dreams.

 

When the movie "The Rookie" Came out we went to see it. I know it was painful for Mel, but he was glad for the man portrayed in the movie.

 

Some said that it was dumb because he only played for two seasons.

My hubby's answer was "then you don't know the love of the game!"

 

As I run around from field to field, watching my kids having a ball doing what they love to do, I have truly learned the love of the game.

 

Not just the game of baseball, but the game of life, family and marriage. It's not always going to turn out good.

 

Baseball players get the money and the glory. But they also get the injuries, blisters, uncertainties and the looming cloud of not being able to play the sport they love anymore, hanging over them.

 

The same is true in life. My kids will grow up and move on with their own lives, as much as I wish them to be little forever, it will happen.

 

My marriage will grow and change from newlyweds, to parents and on to empty nesters focusing on ourselves again.

 

Life as well will go on.

 

We need to learn to love the game, blisters, heartache and all.

 

Remember without the warm-ups, injuries, sacrifices and practices there can be no game.

 

The same is true in life!

 

In the future I won't have to rush from field to field because my kids will be doing the rushing with their own family, but for today, I will rush for the love of the game.

 

Oh and by the way the French fries at the little league snack shack are to die for!

 

Pass the salt, please!

Sacrafyc video

Life’s eternal renewal

 

 

April 25

 

Happy Easter!

I absolutely love Easter time! We aren't really into the buy all new clothes for the day stuff, but we do dress up and go to church.

 

I love to listen to the sermons about the resurrection and Jesus' atoning sacrifice for our salvation.

We do the candy too, Easter bunny and all! To this day as grown (and I use the term loosely) as the older half of our kids are, they still want their Easter candy!

We have three boys that live on their own. We have two boys and a daughter in college with another boy and daughter going off to college in a few months. The youngest, Alexi will be in high school in the fall, yet they have got to have their candy!

I do little gift bags for them each year. Sure enough every year I get calls from the older ones wanting to know," Where the candy at?"

 

I get a big kick out of it, while Mel says he's just going to kick them in the, well you get the picture, because they are too old to be asking for candy! F

Funny thing is he's always looking for his bag of candy too!

 

I remember one year I was in church with all the kids! (Yeah it was like Florida all over again! Only this time we had to all be quiet! Yeah, like that was ever going to happen!)

I was trying to listen to the sermon in between the bathroom trips and "wiggles" when all of a sudden they all got really quiet.

 

I looked up and down the pew and they were all busy with puzzle books, coloring books and drawing paper! Would miracles never seize?

 

Thank Heavens for the dollar store!

 

As I listened to the speaker he was talking about the symbolism of spring. He commented on how spring never truly arrives until after Easter Sunday. He said if we paid attention we would realize that the plants and flowers really don't go into full bloom until Easter arrived.

 

It was kind of ironic seeing as how Easter Sunday is at different times each year. He also talked about how all the trees come back to life just as Jesus did!

 

I had never really given this much thought and I found it amazing!

 

What I found more amazing was that on our way home Jose, who was only like eight at the time, mentioned how cool he thought the story was.

 

"You heard that?" I asked, totally amazed.

"Yeah I did! It was cool, about the trees and stuff! You know, I do hear a lot of what they say!"

"I do too!" Chris added, "Unless they have that soft grandfather voice that just knocks me out!" He laughed.

 

Double surprise for me, not only did they listen, they thought it was cool! Later on that afternoon I went out to our back yard and walked around checking out all our bushes and plants.

 

I noticed the buds sprouting and starting to bloom.

Within a few days the tulips were up, the daffodils were blooming and the trees were leafing.

 

Every year since then I do the same thing and every year I am amazed that spring doesn't go into full bloom until after Easter Sunday!

 

For me it also gives me hope! No matter how gray and dismal winter is, it always passes and spring arrives!

The dead blooms anew. Hope springs eternal! This had a whole new meaning for me after that sermon!

 

Every time I see a flower or a tree I am reminded of God's undying love for me. I am also reminded of Jesus' sacrifice so that I could have eternal life!

 

What could be cooler than that?