The gift of forgiveness

 

January 27

 

I went to a woman's conference at my church today. I don't think I was in the right spiritual frame of mind because I felt like killing one of the presenters!

Yeah, I know that's not the reaction were supposed to have when we go to a church sponsored event!

This woman had the nerve to go on and on about how anything bad that has ever happened to us was for a good reason. (This was the part where I wanted to go Hare-Kari on her!)

As an adult I often times questioned the reasons why I had to go through so much pain and hurt as a child. After counseling sessions I was able to put a lot of the pain behind me and move on.

But now to hear that woman say those things kind of brought some of the pain back. As far as I could see, no good had ever come out of it in my life.

When I got home I was madder than a wet hen!

My poor husband once again served the place of the messenger and got shot!

I walked back and forth waving my arms like a turkey trying to take flight. I vented about how nuts this woman was to not only think that way but to have the gall to present it in a motivational talk?

Who did she think she was anyway? My husband just stared at me intently. After I was all vented out from my turkey dance I flopped down on the couch in our bedroom and just looked back at him.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" I asked, feeling another episode of frenzied turkey flight attempts coming on.

"Aside from the fact that you look ready to fly south for the winter?" he chuckled "Hon, whether you realize it or not a lot of good has come from what you have gone through," he answered.

I started to stand up to start my turkey hop bit again when he gently put his hand on my shoulder and sat me back down again.

"Hear me out!" He said. When he was sure I wouldn't flutter again, he continued," Honey, you are the most compassionate person I have ever met. We go to the stores and total strangers will tell you their life stories out of the blue. Do you think they do that with everyone?

Most of these people don't even give me the time of day! As a matter of fact some of the old ladies hide their bags when they see me coming! Any time I go somewhere all I hear is how nice my wife is. How sweet she is and kind and loving! No one ever says that about me! Do you know why they say that about you?" I shook my head at him still not buying what the woman had said.

"It's because you care and the reason you care is because you have gone through so much hurt and pain. You can really relate to them. When someone tells you they are in pain you know exactly what they are feeling, therefore you know the right thing to say and do or at least you know enough to just be quiet and listen to let them vent!

Do you think you would understand them if you hadn't gone through all that crap? Would you understand when a young girl tells you she was abused? Or when a person feels unwanted or abandoned?

I don't understand it. I may be able to try     and offer advice, but I have no clue as to how deep the hurt is, not too many people would.

But you do. Do you think if you had grown up with two loving caring parents, a nice home and all the things you needed, you would understand these people in need?

Would you even care about them? I don't think so! It's because of all the suffering that you went through that made you the wonderful, caring person that you are today!"

As I sat there listening to Mel I realized that maybe he was right; at least a little. I guess a lot of good had come out of all the bad experiences in my life.

As a result of it I had tried to be a more compassionate medical assistant, police officer and teacher. I had done all I could to ensure that the victims and their families were treated with respect and dignity. I always went out of my way to listen to people when they talked to me. No matter how weird or unconventional they might seem.

I also tried to remember things they told me, so that when I ran into them again I would be able to ask them how it was going, if their aunt was better, they were better, whatever it was they had shared with me. I was beginning to realize that had I not gone through that, there would be no way I could relate or care about them as much as I now did.

Dang, I guess that lady was right!

In my life I had tried to help a lot of people out without even realizing it. I had finally figured out it was because I had never had anyone there for me. So I had decided to be there for anyone who might need me.

Once again it all came down to how we looked at the experiences life dealt us. I had chosen subconsciously to use what I had learned to help others along life's path.

Suddenly I wasn't angry anymore! As a matter of fact I felt pretty good about myself and life in general! I just wish I had been able to thank that lady for her wonderful lesson she taught. But I will make a point of thanking her the next time I run into her. Good thing I didn't try to kill her like I wanted to, boy that would have been so embarrassing!

Man I'm so hungry! Why do I feel like having a turkey club sandwich?

Ha! Ha! Yeah, yeah, I know, I am weird! Don't you love it?

Comments

[amy]

I really enjoyed reading your post. So very true what you have expressed here... And that is the gift and I believe the justice in the things that happen to us. If we can find one good thing from it, we are then in our personal power and no longer victimized by the person or event. Beautiful... thank you so much for sharing!